Category: The Lounge

Selamat Natal 25 Desember 2016

We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Snissue

We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Important!

Open this page using your phone, close one eye, tilt your phone and look at the picture from the charger hole. After you see the text, rotate your phone -90°.

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Celine Dion – The Magical of Christmas Day (Good Bless Us Everyone)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFYJDUt8hhE

Oh and God bless us everyone; The good and the bad; The happy; The sad.
Oh and God bless us everyone; Here’s to family and friends; It’s good to be here again.

Google Now Harry Potter Spell

You can now turn your Android phone into a wand, using spells from the Harry Potter series to control you device. Follow these steps below to know how:

  1. Update Google Now to version 6.7.21.21 or later.
  2. Open Google Now and say, “Ok Google” followed by “Lumos”, “Nox”, or “Silencio”.
    1. Lumos = Turn on your phone’s flashlight.
    2. Nox = Turn off your phone’s flashlight.
    3. Silencio = Put your phone on silent mode.

Continue reading Google Now Harry Potter Spell

All You Zombies

The year is 1945. A stranger emerges from the darkness carrying a baby girl that he leaves at an orphanage. Well, the nuns find this baby girl, they don’t know where this baby girl came from, so the nuns call her… Jane. So Jane grows up at the orphanage wondering, “Who is my mother? Who is my father?”

When Jane is 17 years old, she’s a beautiful young woman and finally has her first boyfriend. A drifter comes drifting into her life, but it just wasn’t meant to be. They quarrel. She argues with her boyfriend. It’s a very sad story. First, she finds out that she’s pregnant. Second, her boyfriend has left her. She’s abandoned and pregnant. She’s rushed to the hospital 9 months later and she delivers a beautiful baby girl. But somehow, somebody breaks into the hospital that night, kidnaps Jane’s baby girl, and vanishes into the darkness. Wait, it gets worse. Jane is bleeding very rapidly and death becomes a real possibility. The doctors must perform an experimental emergency operation. They have to change Jane (she) into Jim (he). Fortunately, the doctors find that Jane has both sets of sex organs, and to save her life, they are forced to surgically convert Jane (her) into Jim (him).

Well, Jim wakes up the next day with a huge headache and he’s told the bad news. First, the boyfriend left her pregnant. Second, somebody stole her baby, and now she’s not even Jane anymore! She’s… Jim?

So Jim grows up to become a bar room drunk. Every time someone asks, “Who are you, Jim? Where’d you come from? Who’s your mother or father?” He just didn’t know.

Finally, Jim one day is once again stone drunk at the floor of the bar right after a bar fight. The bartender comes up to him and says, “Jim! Jim! Wake up! Hey, guess what? You see, I’m not really a bartender. I’m actually a time traveler. Let’s step into my machine and see who is this Jim/Jane the stranger who left you pregnant and abandoned.”

So they go back into the past. Poor Jim, he doesn’t know where he is in the past. However, he meets this beautiful 17 years old girl and it’s love at first sight. But it just wasn’t meant to be. They quarrel. Then Jim finds out that his girlfriend is pregnant. Jim says to himself, “Holy crap. History is repeating itself! This happened to me! Well I’m going to make sure that my baby gets the best education possible.”

That night, nine months later, Jim goes to the hospital, breaks open the window, and kidnaps his own precious baby girl. Then Jim, holding his baby girl, goes back into the time machine, way back into the past until it’s 1945. It’s a dark and stormy night. Jim comes in from the darkness carrying his precious baby daughter and drops her off at an orphanage.

Well, the nuns don’t know what to do with this baby girl the next day so they just decide to call her Jane. And Jane grows up wondering, “Who is my mother? Who is my father?”

Anyways, Jim finally gets it together. Well, I don’t want to be a drunk for the rest of my life. So Jim decides to join the Time Travelers’ Corps. So Jim has many wondrous exploits in the annals of time.

Now Jim is an old man. He thinks to himself, “I’ve had a good long life. But I want to give myself one final mission. For my last mission, I’m going to go back in time, put on a wig, and impersonate a bartender, to meet a certain bar room drunk who just got into a fistfight because someone said, ‘Who are you Jim? Who’s your mother? Who’s your father?’ “

The question is, “Who is Jane’s mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, son, daughter, granddaughter, and grandson? The girl, the drifter, and the bartender, of course, are all the same person. These paradoxes can made your head spin, especially if you try to untangle Jane’s twisted parentage. If we draw Jane’s family tree, we find that all the branches are curled inward back on themselves, as in a circle. We come to the astonishing conclusion that she is her own mother and father! She is an entire family tree unto herself.”

Another Version

A baby girl is mysteriously dropped off at an orphanage in Cleveland in 1945. “Jane” grows up lonely and dejected, not knowing who her parents are, until one day in 1963 she is strangely attracted to a drifter. She falls in love with him. But just when things are finally looking up for Jane, a series of disasters strike. First, she becomes pregnant by the drifter, who then disappears. Second, during the complicated delivery, doctors find that Jane has both sets of sex organs, and to save her life, they are forced to surgically convert “her” to a “him”. Finally, a mysterious stranger kidnaps her baby from the delivery room.

Reeling from these disasters, rejected by society, scorned by fate, “he” becomes a drunkard and drifter. Not only has Jane lost her parents and her lover, but he has lost his only child as well. Years later, in 1970, he stumbles into a lonely bar, called Pop’s Place, and spills out his pathetic story to an elderly bartender. The sympathetic bartender offers the drifter the chance to avenge the stranger who left her pregnant and abandoned, on the condition that he join the Time Travelers’ Corps. Both of them enter a time machine, and the bartender drops off the drifter in 1963. The drifter is strangely attracted to a young orphan woman, who subsequently becomes pregnant.

The bartender then goes forward 9 months, kidnaps the baby girl from the hospital, and drops off the baby in an orphanage back in 1945. Then the bartender drops off the thoroughly confused drifter in 1985, to enlist in the Time Travelers’ Corps. The drifter eventually gets his life together, becomes a respected and elderly member of the Time Travelers’ Corps, and then disguises himself as a bartender and has his most difficult mission: a date with destiny, meeting a certain drifter at Pop’s Place in 1970.

The question is: Who is Jane’s mother, father, grandfather, grand mother, son, daughter, granddaughter, and grandson? The girl, the drifter, and the bartender, of course, are all the same person. These paradoxes can made your head spin, especially if you try to untangle Jane’s twisted parentage. If we draw Jane’s family tree, we find that all the branches are curled inward back on themselves, as in a circle. We come to the astonishing conclusion that she is her own mother and father! She is an entire family tree unto herself.

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Note:

  1. This story was summarized by Michio Kaku from the original story and he said this story is the mother of all time travel story.
  2. Original story, “All You Zombies” is a science fiction short story by Robert A. Heinlein.
  3. You can read the original story here.