Category: Funny Stories

Year 20🇧🇷🇩🇪 Ends

Man: You should drop subtle hints to your crush. If he’s smart he will know.
Woman: Oh! Ok.
Man: You want to know my crush? 😀
Woman: Yeah!
Man: Read the first word again. ❤️
Woman: Wow! You. Is he Chinese?

If you hate yourself,
remember that you are not alone.
A lot of other people hate you too.

If you start to think about 2017
at 11:59:59 PM on new year’s eve,
you will realize how it sucked
at midnight.

If you start fapping at 11: 59:55 PM
on new year’s eve,
you will be finished
at Midnight.

Girl: Come over.
Boy: I can’t, my car only has three wheels.
Girl: Do you have a tricycle?
Boy: You were supposed to say “But my parents aren’t home.”
Girl: I was distracted by your tricycle.
Boy: Ok! Start over.
Girl: Ok.

Girl: Come over!
Boy: I can’t, my car only has three wheels.
Girl: What color is your tricycle?
Boy: F**k you!!!

Son: Dad, what is an alcoholic?
Me: Son, do you see these 4 trees? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: But Dad, there are only 2.

Women love taking showers
in boiling hot water
because it reminds
them of hell,
where they come from.

The world is not
full of assholes, but
they are strategically
placed so that you’ll
come across one
every day.

EVERY. DAY.

ASSHOLES