Category: Funny Stories

Boy: I love you.
Girl: Shut up.
Boy: I’ll die for you.
Girl: Shut up.
Boy: I can’t live without you.
Girl: Shut up.
Boy: You look so pretty.
Girl: Really?
Boy: Shut up.

Man 1: Why fish can’t talk?
Man 2: If I put your head under water, could you speak?

Man 1: Hey Bro, my stomach is paining.
Man 2: That’s because your stomach is empty.
Man 1: Now I understand why you always have headache.

Man 1: Bro, if you answer “No” in my next question, I will give you $50. Are you ready?
Man 2: Yes.
Man 1: … 😎

Sepasang suami istri sedang tidur dengan nyenyaknya. Tiba-tiba sang istri mengigau dengan suara keras, “Mas… Mas…! Bangun Mas…! Bangun Mas…! Suamiku pulang…!”

Sang suami pun kaget dan dengan refleks loncat keluar lewat jendela.

Pertanyaannya, “Siapa yang salah?”

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer.

Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender, the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter.

The bartender is pissed and is on his hands and knees collecting change as the guy leaves.

The next day the man is back and he comes in waiving a $3 dollar bill.

The bartender thinks, “Okay, business is business,” and lets him in. Again, the beer is kind of warm, but the guy doesn’t say anything.

Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 note. The bartender goes to the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the entire pub. The bartender says, “There is your f*cking change!”

The man looks around and remains quite calm. He takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says, “Gimme another beer!”

Wikipedia: I know everything.
Facebook: I know everybody.
Google: I have everything.
Internet: Without me you’re nothing.
Electricity: B*tch please.

Boy: Baby, sometimes I want to call you in the midnight to tell how much I love you.
Girl: Why don’t you?
Boy: I hear a voice that stops me from calling you.
Girl: What voice?
Boy: “Your account balance is insufficient to make this call.”

* Conversation via online messenger.

Boy: How are you?
Jessica: Hi. 🙂 Do I know you?
Boy: I am rich.
Jessica: Hi, I am Jessica. Nice to meet you! What is your name?
Boy: No, Rich is my name.
Jessica: Sorry, I don’t talk to boys.

* Conversation via online messenger.

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