Category: Funny Stories

Toni: OMG! I love her so much.
Mike: Bro, you’re 19, she is 13 years old.
Toni: Age is just a number.
Mike: LoL! Yeah, and jail is just a room.

If you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”, your stupid. 😀

1st Son: Degree in Economics
2nd Son: MBA
3rd Son: PhD
4th Son: Thief

Neighbour: Why can’t you throw the 4th Son out of your house?
Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.

Smith: Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.
Duncan: Okay, done.
Smith: Did it break?
Duncan: Yes.
Smith: Now say sorry to it.
Duncan: Sorry.
Smith: Did it go back to the way it was before?
Duncan: No.
Smith: Do you understand?

Doctor: Do you play any sports?
Patient: Does sex count?
Doctor: Of course.
Patient: Then no.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times just to be sure.

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Q: Would you rather be stuck on an island all alone or with one person you hate? And why?
A: I would rather be stuck on an island with someone I hate so I have something to eat.

One day, there were three vampires bragging their strength and power to each other. They showed off their skills one by one.

The first vampire said, “Look at my skill.”

He’s gone in a blink of an eye and came back. His mouth is covered with blood. He said, “Did you see that village over there? I have sucked dry all of the villagers’ blood.”

The second vampire was amazed but he didn’t want to lose. He’s gone on a split second and went back. His mouth was also covered in blood. He said, “Did you see the town over there? I have sucked the towns people blood down to the last drop.”

The last vampire also wanted to show off his skill. He ran quickly and went back in the speed of light. His entire face was covered in blood. The two vampire were amazed. The last vampire said, “Did you see the street lamp there?”

The two vampire nodded quickly, impatient to hear his explanation. The last vampire catching his breath and said, “Well f*ck, I didn’t see it.”

You have no idea what women go through when breastfeeding in public. Just the other day I saw 4 guys beating up a woman for breastfeeding, so I jumped into help. She didn’t stand a chance against all of us.