Category: Funny Stories

How Would You Pronounce This Child’s Name?

Le-a

She spells her name “Le-a”. So, how would you pronounce her name?

Leah? NO.
Lee – A? NOPE.
Lay – a? NOT A CHANCE.
Lei? NICE TRY, BUT GUESS AGAIN!

This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her child’s name wrong. She says it’s pronounced “Ledasha”.

When the Mother asked how in the world she figured it should be pronounced that way, she said, “Cause the dash don’t be silent!”

So, if you see a name come across your desk like this, please remember to pronounce the dash.

And if anyone asks you why, tell them it’s “cause the dash don’t be silent!”

They live among us, they vote and they breed.

I Like the Way You Are Thinking

One day, the teacher asked little Tim in class, “There are three birds on a tree. If one of them is shot, how many will remain?”

Tim, after a lot of thinking, answered, “None, because all of them will fly away.”

Smiling, the teacher says, “No. The answer is two, but I like the way you are thinking.”

Tim, after some time, told the teacher that he had a question for her.

He asked, “Three woman walk out of an ice cream parlour. One of them is licking her ice cream, one is sucking it, and one is bitting it. Now, tell me which woman is married?”

Confused, the teacher answers, “The one who is licking it, probably?”

To this, Tim replied, “No. It’s the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.”

Temper Cure

A woman goes to a doctor, worried about her husband’s temper.

The Doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”

The Woman says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.”

The Doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The Woman says, “Doctor, that was a briliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”

The Doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”

What I Think When My Parents Use My Computer

What the hell are you doing?

Why would you use Internet Explorer?

Fuuu, you type so slow, let met type that.

You spelled it wrong.

Caps lock is on.

Why would you click the zwinky ad. Oh my God!!!

Scroll down, hurry up.

You don’t need to double click that.

Get the f**k out of the chair and let me do it.