Category: Funny Stories

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.

This is the most dangerous animal in the world. Responsible for millions of deaths every year. By his side, we can see a white shark (Carcharodon carcharias) swimming peacefully.

Husband: Pack your bags. I’ve won the lottery!
Wife: [Excited] Should I pack for sun or snow?
Husband: I don’t care, as long as you are gone by noon.

I. Like. It. How. When.
You. Read. This. The.
Little. Voice. In. Your.
Head. Takes. Pauses.

Friend: You are in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Donald Trump. But you only have 1 bullet in your gun. Who do you shoot?
Me: Myself.

According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you are actually a few million years late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

1. It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach.
2. A human hair can hold 3 Kg.
3. The length of the penis is 3 times the length of the thumb.
4. The femur is as hard as concrete.
5. A woman’s heart beats faster than man’s.
6. Woman blink twice as much as men.
7. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand.

The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb.

Ron: I want a tank.
Dave: Well then, why don’t you get one?
Ron: Because they cost several million dollars. Not including floor mat. I don’t have that kind of money.
Dave: Now wait a second. You are a consumer. You have credit cards, right?
Ron: Yes. But how am I going to pay the credit card company? They will come after me.
Dave: Don’t be silly. You have a tank!

Everyone should follow their dreams. Just work hard and believe in yourself.

NB: Don’t ask why I choose white.