Category: Funny Stories

Paper Cannot Beat Rock

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there’s no way Paper can beat Rock.

Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why can’t Paper do this to Scissors? Screw Scissors, why can’t Paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class?

I’ll tell you why, because Paper can’t beat anybody, a Rock would tear it up in two seconds. When I play Rock-Paper-Scissors, I always choose Rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their Paper, I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh sorry, I thought Paper would protect you.”

Funny Comments

dimsumw0ng: Yes, after that they would get some Paper from the court to screw you back.

fandomlover03 (OP): But you could use the Scissors to murder them then hide the body before they can get away @dimsumw0ng.

bobjenkins8888: Then they slap you and say, “Whoops, I thought the Rock would protect you.”

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Trust No One

A couple decided to commit suicide after going through a really hard time, so they decided to jump off of a building. When they got to the top, they both counted to 3. The woman jumped but the man stayed. He watched her fall for 8 seconds and then saw her pull out a parachute. Who betrayed who?