Author: karyasarma

Siapa Yang Salah?

Sepasang suami istri sedang tidur dengan nyenyaknya. Tiba-tiba sang istri mengigau dengan suara keras, “Mas… Mas…! Bangun Mas…! Bangun Mas…! Suamiku pulang…!”

Sang suami pun kaget dan dengan refleks loncat keluar lewat jendela.

Pertanyaannya, “Siapa yang salah?”

Tamu

Ada tamu datang, membersihkan rumah dan secara canggih dan tegas mengusir tikus-tikus. Kami sekeluarga terpesona.

Kami menerimanya sebagai keluarga, karena tamu itu lebih menguasai pengelolaan rumah dibanding kami sekeluarga.

Akhirnya rumah kami menjadi rumahnya, dan kami numpang berkat kebaikan hatinya.

| Emha Ainun Nadjib |

A Corporate Story

Every day, a small 🐜 Ant arrives at work very early and starts work immediately. 🐜 She produces a lot and she was happy. The Chief, a 🐯 Tiger, was surprised to see that the 🐜 Ant was working without supervision. 🐯 He thought if the 🐜 Ant can produce so much without supervision, wouldn’t 🐜 she produce even more if 🐜 she had a supervisor!

So 🐯 he recruited a 🐝 Bee who had extensive experience as 👷 supervisor and who was famous for 📝 writing excellent reports. The 🐝 Bee’s first decision was to set up a 🔔 clocking in attendance system. 🐝 He also needed a secretary to help him write and type his reports and he recruited a 🐇 Rabbit, who managed the archives and monitored all ☎ phone calls.

The 🐯 Tiger was delighted with the 🐝 Bee’s reports and asked him to produce 📊 graphs to describe production rates and to analyse 📉 trends, so that he could use them for 📁 presentations at Board‘s meetings.

So the 🐝 Bee had to buy a new 💻 computer and a laser printer and recruited a 🐈 Cat to manage the 🌐 IT Department. The 🐜 Ant, who had once been so productive and relaxed, hated this new plethora of paperwork and meetings which used up most of her time…!

The 🐯 Tiger came to the conclusion that it was high time to nominate a person in charge of the department where the 🐜 Ant worked. The position was given to the 🐒 Monkey, whose first decision was to buy an Air Conditioner and an ergonomic 💺 chair for his office. The new person in charge, the 🐒 Monkey, also needed a 💻 computer and a personal assistant, who he brought from his previous department, to help him prepare a 📑 work and 📃 Budget Control Strategic Optimization Plan.

The Department where the 🐜 Ant works is now a sad place, where nobody laughs anymore and everybody has become upset.

It was at that time that the 🐝 Bee convinced the boss, the 🐯 Tiger; of the absolute necessity to start a climatic study of the environment. Having reviewed the charges for running the 🐜 Ant’s department, the 🐯 Tiger found out that the Production was much less than before. So he recruited the 🐤 Owl, a prestigious and renowned consultant to carry out an audit and suggest solutions.

The 🐤 Owl spent three months in the department and came up with an enormous report, in several volumes, that concluded.

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“The Department is overstaffed…”

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Guess who the 🐯 Tiger fires first?

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Of course, the 🐜 Ant…,

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… because 🐜 she showed lack of motivation and had a negative attitude.

Note:

The Character in this fable are fictitious; any resemblance to real people or facts within your Corporation is pure coincidence only.

Membagi Tanah Warisan

Heisenberg memiliki sebidang tanah dengan bentuk yang dapat dilihat pada gambar di atas. Heinsenberg memiliki 4 orang anak. Sebelum meninggal Heisenberg berpesan kepada anak-anak-nya untuk membagi tanah tersebut menjadi 4 bagian yang memiliki luas dan bentuk yang sama agar tidak ada rasa saling cemburu di antara mereka. Bagaimana caranya agar ke 4 anak itu dapat melakukan kehendak Heisenberg?

Note: Abaikan warna yang terdapat pada gambar. Warna-warna yang berbeda tersebut cuma untuk menunjukkan bahwa tiap warna adalah sebuah bidang persegi yang artinya memiliki panjang sisi yang sama.

Jawaban

Four 1s Make 5?

Do there exist operations that can be performed to make this equation true?

1  1  1  1 = 5

Note: Any operations can be used, so get creative!

Answer

Warm Beer

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer.

Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender, the guy throws 30 dimes behind the counter.

The bartender is pissed and is on his hands and knees collecting change as the guy leaves.

The next day the man is back and he comes in waiving a $3 dollar bill.

The bartender thinks, “Okay, business is business,” and lets him in. Again, the beer is kind of warm, but the guy doesn’t say anything.

Comes time to pay, the man gives him the $5 note. The bartender goes to the register to get the change, but instead of taking out two $1 dollar bills, he takes out 20 dimes and throws them all around the entire pub. The bartender says, “There is your f*cking change!”

The man looks around and remains quite calm. He takes out 10 dimes, throws them behind the counter and says, “Gimme another beer!”

Sometimes I Want To Call You

Boy: Baby, sometimes I want to call you in the midnight to tell how much I love you.
Girl: Why don’t you?
Boy: I hear a voice that stops me from calling you.
Girl: What voice?
Boy: “Your account balance is insufficient to make this call.”

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