Author: karyasarma

Q: Would you rather be stuck on an island all alone or with one person you hate? And why?
A: I would rather be stuck on an island with someone I hate so I have something to eat.

One day, there were three vampires bragging their strength and power to each other. They showed off their skills one by one.

The first vampire said, “Look at my skill.”

He’s gone in a blink of an eye and came back. His mouth is covered with blood. He said, “Did you see that village over there? I have sucked dry all of the villagers’ blood.”

The second vampire was amazed but he didn’t want to lose. He’s gone on a split second and went back. His mouth was also covered in blood. He said, “Did you see the town over there? I have sucked the towns people blood down to the last drop.”

The last vampire also wanted to show off his skill. He ran quickly and went back in the speed of light. His entire face was covered in blood. The two vampire were amazed. The last vampire said, “Did you see the street lamp there?”

The two vampire nodded quickly, impatient to hear his explanation. The last vampire catching his breath and said, “Well f*ck, I didn’t see it.”

You have no idea what women go through when breastfeeding in public. Just the other day I saw 4 guys beating up a woman for breastfeeding, so I jumped into help. She didn’t stand a chance against all of us.

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decides to test it at dinner.

Dad: Son, where were you today during school hours?
Son: At school. [The robot slaps the son.]

Son: Ok! I watched a DVD at my mates.
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda. [The robot slaps the son again.]

Son: Ok! It was a porno.
Dad: WHAT? When I was your age I didn’t even know what porn was! [The robot slaps the Dad.]

Mom: Hahahahaha! After all he’s your son. [The robot slaps the mom.]

Girl: [post new status on Facebook] After a long stressful day at work I need sleep. 😴 Feeling tired.
Boy: [comment the status] Did you know that at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the tunneling electron microscope? Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. If i were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn’t be able to locate my interest in your problem.